�The amount of pussy Paul Simon ate in the 70�s�

Finding joy in small little drives out of state here and there is all I seem to have right now for �that� feeling. Perhaps in the fall, I will take a road trip by myself and forget where I live for a week. The routine is awful. Last night I saw the commercial for ADHD and realized I should go see a doctor and get drugs. I can�t concentrate on anything whatsoever. I can�t finish anything. I can�t control anything at all.

�This dude fucked Joyce DeWitt one night�

The last time I touched the ocean was in the year 1997 probably. The things lurk in there. The creatures that swim around and bite you. They once told me of microscopic parasites that swim into your urethra. Dark, deep water, there is nothing scarier in the world. Lakes have this same effect on me. My wife will be afraid of heights, and more afraid of parasites that ruin blowjobs forever.

�Ladies and Gentlemen, the completely useless piece of shit known as Allah�

Bill Clinton felt no need for approval from Congress or the UN Security Council before bombing the piss out of Iraq. Operation Desert Fox. I�ve been reading some old news articles about it the past few days. It�s funny how almost identical it is to what Bush just did. Same reasons �He�s not gonna bully his neighbors�, etc. For some reason though, the punk rockers of the world were a little more accepting of it when a Democrat did it though.

�As a black guy, Tony Danza will work well with children, and animals�

I remember when my ex was having a bad night, or not getting along with her roommate I would go over there and play her Rolling Stones records, rub her back and drive home. Her boyfriend would come over the next morning and wonder why she was so happy. I�m glad we stayed friends after breaking up. Whenever a boy took her, I wanted her. When she was single, I was okay with that, off on my own. I am always happy to let an ex-girlfriend cheat on their boyfriend/husband.

�We drove to Oregon. Joanne did not.�

The complete and final blackness of death is impending. I will not exist anymore. My opinion of Bud Powell will not matter anymore. My history with redheads will be irrelevant. I will not exist anymore. Anyone who tells you they aren�t scared of this should kill him or herself and prove it.

�Lizzie McGuire�

The last time I shot heroin, a few days ago, I thought of Jesus and how wonderful he is. He surrounds us. It�s funny, I walk down the street and I feel like his arms are around me hugging me as I walk down the street. Sort of like in those pornographic films when there is a real small girl and the guy is having sex with her while walking around a room holding her up in the air (I�ve never seen anything like this happen, but I�ve heard about it happening in those movies). Jesus loves us so much, He willingly "became sin" so that we could be set right with the Father. Our sins have been bought and paid for by the shedding of his blood. Actually, our Debts WERE Paid - In full. It�s like how I paid my car off the other day. I like that my sins are already paid in full. I can go out and steal and lie and kill and covet thy neighbor�s wife and not worry about a thing! How fucking cool is this Jesus dude? He�s like Bling-Bling up in this jigga.

�Osama Bin Laden, completely naked�

I have become Phil Collins I have become Phil Collins I have become Phil Collins I have become Phil Collins I have become Phil Collins I have become Phil Collins I have become Phil Collins I have become Phil Collins I have become Phil Collins I have become Phil Collins I have become Phil Collins (wondering who the person will be that sees me last, right before I die. Imagine if it�s just some guy at the gas station that I buy a pack of cigarettes off of, and then I drive away and get sideswiped by an 18 wheeler sliding on the ice sideways, and I get chopped in half and they have to have a closed casket funeral) I have become Phil Collins I have become Phil Collins I have become Phil Collins I have become Phil Collins I have become Phil Collins I have become Phil Collins I have become Phil Collins I have become Phil Collins I have become Phil Collins I have become Phil Collins I have become Phil Collins I have become Phil Collins (a family member will come in and bring me my favorite book and CD in my hospital bed, but I won�t even make it through the night as the doctor says �the cancer is all over the fucking place inside him now�) I have become Phil Collins I have become Phil Collins I have become Phil Collins I have become Phil Collins I have become Phil Collins I have become Phil Collins I have become Phil Collins I have become Phil Collins I have become Phil Collins I have become Phil Collins I have become Phil Collins I have become Phil Collins I have become Phil Collins (my wife will come in and see me and cry all night until I stop breathing at like 4:51AM) I have become Phil Collins I have become Phil Collins I have become Phil Collins I have become Phil Collins I have become Phil Collins and you can�t do a fucking thing about it, so fuck you.

before & after