Oh Joy!
2003-05-30 || The Genghis Jon breakfast club
Soundtrack � Fletcher Henderson Orchestra � 1941

I am pretty close to vomiting all over this computer screen. Not that I should spend time writing in my journal about bad breakfast incidents, but today was without exception.

McDonalds, they�ve always had the worst breakfast in the entire world of breakfasts. The most disgusting potatoes, flat airy pancakes, bad meats, non-toasted breads for the breakfast sandwiches all around�only thing is, all of this shit tastes good, and every person in the world says �I love McDonalds breakfast�. I go there once and a while, and then almost always feel completely ill after I eat the breakfast.

This morning for some reason, I decided to order their new McGriddle sandwich (I hate that when you come to visit the office, and your friends in here you are sometimes grumpy and bitchy. I have no idea why I would even let you bother me, you are a fucking infant with buck teeth, and the fact that you fuck all sorts of guys is a surprise), not knowing what I�m in for. Upon walking up to the counter, the girls asks if she can help me. I can�t stop staring at her moustache, which is dark and thick, not out of the ordinary for a woman with darker skin and a Spanish accent I guess. The wait is a little longer than desired. While standing there I noticed a sign for the McGriddle sandwich, which I had just ordered blindly. Something to the effect of �maple syrup flavoring inside the bread!�. I started getting sick thinking (when you would call and ask for rides here and there, I wanted to say �yes� and then drive you into a tree, or into a river�you used me, and I got absolutely nothing in return) about this. �Did I just order a maple syrup flavored sausage and egg sandwich?� I get my sandwich, and make my way over to the coffee place for the second stop of my journey to work. Standing in line a woman next to me orders a caramel iced coffee with �extra cream and 5 Equals�. This fucking woman will have cancer by noon most likely. How the fuck can you even eat Equal. Especially with Caramel, and then cream. Three things that taste worse than fucking horse sperm (that�s assuming horse sperm tastes bad. For all we know horse sperm tastes like fucking vanilla ice cream from heaven), put them together and you have a fucking milkshake from hell. So I get my coffee from the woman with the yucky legs, who I find out is named Madeline. Not because I asked her, but she had one of those necklaces on with her name in gold. I think Madeline is one of those �hoochie� girls, or to put it bluntly, one of those white gangsta chicks from Massachusetts that only date black men.

I get back to my car (I wonder if you tell your friends �I only dated him to get back at Bill�. I wonder if you think that would bother a 25 year old guy? In retrospect, at 33 I think this was a good deal for me. You haven�t been fucked like that since) and open the sandwich and start eating it. What we have here is a sandwich that is basically a soggy waffle like thingy with maple syrup flavor injected into it, along with cheese, eggs, and sausage. Can you imagine what I was thinking? I wonder what my body thought of this. I of course ate most of it before throwing the whole thing out the window, wrapper, bag and all. I have no idea how anyone can eat shit like this. I�m sorry, but you don�t mix sweet and salty flavors, would you like suck a cock, and eat a Heath bar at the same time? No you wouldn�t.

I went to see the Other Network last night at the Coolidge. There was some funny ass shit (the fact that you throw around things like �some guy I think I had sex with� makes me want to punch you in the face. I would never hit a woman, but I would hit you, because you act like a fucking girl) in there. If you don�t know what it is, look it up, I don�t feel like explaining it here, as I�m bored with this already.


before & after