Oh Joy!
2003-05-21 || Phyliss Diller's copy of Megatrends (hardcover)
soundtrack - John Coltrane - Africa

So today my grandfather died. I spoke to my father this afternoon, and he is coming here tomorrow from Los Angeles, when I spoke to him my grandfather was still alive (barely), and my dad was hoping to see his father before he passed. Anyway, he won't now...but he'll be here tomorrow to be with family, etc. I have a rather odd relationship with that side of the family, whereas they are this big tight knit group of Italian descended Americans, I never get in touch or anything. At every holiday I show up and there are numerous new babies I forgot were born since the last holiday. "oh, which one is this one? did I get one of those pictures in the mail?". At any rate, I always feel quite guilty when going there as my uncle, a gigantic menacing Italian man always says "come by anytime, I always tell you". I never do though. Am I selfish? There are no drugs there. There are now out of print west coast jazz vinyls there. There is nowhere to lay down and sigh for hours. So I presumably will see all of these folks in the next few days, and view the body in a casket, and carry it into a church. The last time was his wife, my grandmother. During Communion at the funeral I went up and got one of those "body of Christ" thingys. Does Jesus really taste like that? Yuck. I never received my Communion, so I suppose I'm not allowed to go up and get the taste of Christ. Going to Communion classes as a kid I told my parents I didn't like it, and they took me out. Fair enough. If more parents gave their children that much freedom...there would be more of us people saying mean rotten things about Jesus I guess....

It's funny how absolutely emotionless of a person I am, I was ready to go music shopping three minutes after hearing this news. Robert Smith was right.

before & after