Oh Joy!
2003-05-07 || check out the chair (because I have short hair)
Soundtrack � James Brown � Big Payback

Have to stop talking AT people here. Must.

I think I have carpal tunnel syndrome. All of a sudden my left hand (I jerk off with my right hand thankfully) is absofuckinglutely killing me. Perhaps because I�ve been playing guitar more, and I sleep with my wrist bent in, so maybe it�s not that. Anyway, it hurts to type. I think I would like to get carpal tunnel syndrome just because the name of it sounds so cool. Without further ado, here are some diseases, etc I would like to contract for their cool sounding name only:

1) Carpal Tunnel Syndrome � Sounds like something you get from doing too much acid or something

2) The Measles � It�s a cute sounding word. �Hey Jennie, I got the measles, OMG LOL! :)�

3) SARS � I like this one because it sounds like a gun in Goldeneye or some sort of video game. �Dude I got my SARS Rifle up in this piece now, why you gotta playa hate and hide by the body armor??�

4) Crabs � The only reason I want this is because there was a Canadian metal band called Anvil who had a song called �The March of the Crabs�.

5) Sickle Cell Anemia � Whereas I am a black person, I would like to get this disease.

6) Leprosy � I like this one because it sounds like leprechaun

7) Herpes � I like this one cause it sounds like the last name of someone you would buy drugs off of. �Hey man, Mike Herpes� got bags�

8) Spina Bifida � This is one of the most wonderfully named diseases out there. Commonly mispronounced/spelled as �spinal bifida�

9) Anthrax � For obvious reasons

10) Mumps � This one sounds like one of the creatures in those Harry Potter books.

Today is the anniversary of the day the United States bombed the Chinese Embassy �accidentally� back in 1999. You don�t hear much about that though since Bill Clinton was president. Duh. Is there really a difference between him and George Bush?

I just read that Indiana Jones is coming out on DVD on November 4th (the day after my birthday), here�s the best part of it: They are releasing all three. Three! Three Indiana Jones movies. There were three of those? Where was I when the third one came out? Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, it came out in 1989 evidently. I mean the second one sucked worse than the first blow job a person ever gives.

I need to do some work. Fuck that playa hatin Harrison Ford!

before & after