Oh Joy!
2003-04-20 || Helen Reddy, Parker Stevenson, and Jeff Goldblum come to my front door covered in maple syrup and ask to use one of my many exotic ashtrays
soundtrack � sonic youth � nyc ghosts and flowers

At 2:22 AM, things are generally much better. This is definitely one of my favorite times that happens on the clock, 365 times a year. I�ve always enjoyed 2:22 AM for one reason or another, none of which I can go into here. I�m not that brave.

This afternoon I held the possible distinction of being the only person in the universe who bought Pantera � Reinventing the Steel (used - $5.00), and Michael Jackson � Thriller (new - $9.99), 2 hours after buying a copy of Supertouch � The Earth is Flat (used - $4.99).

This evening, while taking a leisurely ride through the town I spent my teens and twenties, Swampscott, I saw a sign on a lawn that said �Supporting the troops, and President Bush, etc.� I did not have a gallon of brown paint in my trunk to throw at the sign, so I kept driving, and half wished I still had food poisoning, and a Tupperware container.

I spoke with the doctor yesterday on the phone, and she assured me I didn�t have HIV, Hepatitis, or anything serious, but I did have an infection from �something you injested, possibly some bad food�or someone didn�t wash their hands after using the bathroom and preparing your food�. Mmmm, that sound delicious. I possibly ate someone�s shit? The antibiotics worked though, as the sickness finally started waning on Thursday night, and I feel much better now. I almost asked the doctor if the infection was deadly, and if not, if I could stay off it for a month or so. I lost 15 pounds in 10 days, if I could drop say�another thirty, I would be happy to deal with rampant diarrhea until May 4th or so. I am now washing my hands like a motherfucker. I always thought touching things in public is kind of dirty. I recently read that it is practically impossible to catch any diseases from sitting on a toilet seat, and anyone who thinks so is paranoid. I�d lick a toilet seat before I licked a door handle at a train station. How dirty can the back of someone�s legs be? Think about it. With that said, I�ll take $500 to lick a toilet seat in North Station on a Monday night at say�7:45 PM. Any betting men out there?

I wonder if there will ever be a book written by a famous film critic named �The Films of Elizabeth Berkley�

before & after