The question posed to me was �Would you toss Willie Nelson�s salad if it meant world peace could be achieved?�

I replied �Only if Dennis Rodman tossed mine simultaneously.�

I couldn�t care less about world peace, how boring would that be?

So the weekend was okay, I somehow managed to lose 5 pounds according to my scale. Perhaps it has something to do with the daylight savings time. Spring ahead�and lose 5 pounds. I think because I am back to two or three meals a day, rather than the 3-5 meals a day I was having before.

We went to a couple of bars on Saturday night, and as usual the first one, this Irish Pub, was so fucking crowded that I had to leave before I threw up. I was not drinking, but rather standing and smoking cigarettes, and then when cigarettes were not being smoked, I had both hands free. I bumped into a guy and he gave me an attitude and said �Am I in your way or what?!?!�, I shot him a quizzical look, and he said �I�m just joking around buddy!�. Ha ha�we left shortly after, my breath only smelling of cigarettes.

The next place we went to was this 2 story yuppie bar in the heart of downtown Salem that I normally wouldn�t be caught dead in. Downstairs a guy was spinning trance music, and there were literally about 3 people. Lights and loud thumping could not drag the ladies in I guess.

Upstairs though, is where it was at. A cover band. 3 guys, 3 girls. The guitar player played a Les Paul Standard, through a Marshall JCM 800, with a Mesa Boogie 4 x 12 cabinet, yet couldn�t pull off the solo in their rendition of Sweet Home Alabama. In fact, the only thing the band really had going for them were the tits of one of the singers. Other than that, they were pretty bad. Normally, I try not to criticize musicians that much. Despite what one would think, I will generally say �I don�t like that�, or �why?�, but rarely do I say �this band sucks�, as I find it hard for any music to really suck, especially if someone is creating it, and working hard at it, it can hardly suck. There are however, people who have overstayed their welcome in the music world such as: the Beastie Boys, Johnny Cash, Robert Plant and Jimmy Page, Paul McCartney, me.

So this band was just not that good. They were not very tight, and the song selection was typical. Plus, a rendition of the Star Spangled Banner that was cringe worthy, and made me want to throw a burning American Flag into the crowd and run out.

I was proud of myself for not drinking a drop of anything. It is pretty evident that the only reason I do drink is because of peer pressure. At 33 years old, I feel peer pressure. Ha ha. I feel comfortable now not having anything to drink though. The last time I had a drink was in New Jersey last month, a couple of beers. I think I could go another few months. When I have none, and I watch the people in the bar conversing and holding their designer beers and stupid hair cuts, I�m happy I�m not part of it.

HBO is quite possibly the best thing to happen to TV in years. Now, on Sunday nights, they are showing Da Ali G Show, which is so fucking funny, I can�t help but want to make everyone in the world watch it. Six Feet Under was good last night, and I�ve been catching the first season of the Soprano�s again. This is the only night of TV I really pay attention to.

I am talking to myself, duh.

before & after