I have nothing to do with the music being played in my office right now, but in the interest of being accurate, and honest at all times, this is what I�m listening to. I can�t say I�m happy about it, but also, I can think of worse things to be listening to.

It is fucking snowing here again today. It is April, I want to be sitting on the back of my car in the parking lot of the Stop and Shop smoking cigarettes, listening to Thin Lizzy, whistling at girls with feathered back hair. I don�t want to be bitterly walking from my car to my house where my feet get wet, and my old warn sneakers cause me to slip and slide everywhere. Where is this Mother Nature motherfucker? I have an aluminum softball bat with her name on it.

There is a festival in NY coming up with Radiohead, Beastie Boys, Sigur

Ros, NERD, and some others, what I wouldn�t give to have some weapons of mass destruction to lay waste to that show. Does anyone care about the fucking Beastie Boys anymore, or Radiohead for that matter, or Sigur Ros? All of those bands suck at this point in time, and should all do us a favor and quit now�please and thank you. I would rather go see Heart.

Last night I fell asleep before 1 AM while watching Superfly, which I suspiciously have never seen in my life. I�ve managed to see all of the Dolemite movies, almost everything Richard Roundtree was in, Blackbelt Jones, and countless others, but no Superfly. I still haven�t seen it all! Fuck.

I got an e-mail spam that said �Grow a dick bigger than Shaq's!� How do these people know he has a big dick, just because he�s up near 7 feet tall and black? That seems awful presumptuous, I�m a little under 6 feet tall, I�m black and I have a huge cock, so I don�t need a Shaqstick.

What is your favorite Shannen Doherty story?

before & after