Oh Joy!
2003-03-12 || Like two flamingos in a fruit fight
Soundtrack � Joe Jackson � Volume 4

For some reason or another, I�ve landed on the Caroline Rhea show, where they have some guys from American Idol on. Is that show really serious? I couldn�t believe how popular it was before. I need to see if I can remember who gave me an update at one point on that show. One of my friends knew what was happening�maybe someone at work. Either way, if I discover that it was someone from my office, I will fire them immediately. If it was one of my friends, I am breaking off communication with them. Come on, who were you, and what was I on when you told me and I didn�t attack you with an object?

I just finished making a compilation that I was going to bring copies of this weekend to give some of the folks copies if they want. At first I didn�t think it was going to work, but it actually works out pretty nice in my opinion. Anyway,

Tonight, I had a brief experience at Best Buy where I learned another in a long line of lessons of: me coming to a conclusion about a complete stranger. So I�m looking at the DVD�s, and I didn�t have anything in mind, in the front of my mind anyway. This younger guy comes over and hands me some flyer for a Best Buy card or something like that. He then says �if there�s anything I can help you find��. Normally, before they even finish I almost always say �I�m just looking thanks�. Suddenly, my whole day flashed before my eyes in one half of a second. Every image and piece of information I came in contact with sped through me: �the woman behind the counter actually doesn�t look strung out on heroin this morning�I need gas�hey there�s ann marie getting gas too�hello�I remember her�I�m now late�Microsoft this and that and this and that�voicemails�lunchmeat�naked photos of joyce dewitt�dvd released today of army of darkness�2 disc set�on sale today�.Microsoft this and that and that�I hate the radio�that man in the Volvo is a cocksucker�etc.�

�Yes actually,� I replied after looking at him and seeing he had glasses, greasy hair, a bit of acne, had his pants pulled up too high over his bright blue Best Buy shirt, and chewed up fingernails on thick sweaty kielbasa hands. If anyone knew where Evil Dead Part 3 was, it was this fucking guy!!!

�WHY YES!!!� he marched me over to this new release table as if I had just told him I knew a surefire way to win at Magic every time.

He handed me the DVD and that was the end of our little fun right there.

In the car I quickly changed the CD of King Crimson doing Heroes by David Bowie and almost backed up into a man and his wife with a Dust Devil in their carriage. I thought �she must be really happy�, and then realized I really can be a fucking asshole sometimes.

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