|2003-01-29 || Hillary and Jacob-1986, Madison
Soundtrack � Richard Thompson/Danny Thompson � Industry
They gave me a new computer here at work, and it has a nineteen-inch monitor. Unfortunately, there is something wrong with it, and it�s shaky. So I feel like I have epilepsy until they give me another one later on. I have my wallet on my desk that I will put in my mouth if I start shaking and fall on the floor.
The reason for most of my aggravation is routed from other people: what I expect of them, what I want from them, what I need from them, and ultimately what they give me. I give enough, and have for years. That is all.
Murder is always an option. The other night I thought of that. Hmm, a serial killer. Kill someone famous. Not all concerts have metal detectors, and I�m surprised in the years they didn�t have them at arena concerts that nobody took out someone famous. How come nobody ever took out Paul McCartney while on stage rehashing the tired Beatles songs that he wrote? If I was to go to a Paul McCartney show and he started singing Blackbird, or Hey Jude I would definitely rush the stage and attack him with a weapon. I probably would anyway for the mere fact of being the worst of the four Beatles, with George being the best, that pinko communist sexual deviant Lennon in second, and Ringo third, just because it�s unpopular to say you liked Ringo Starr better than Paul McCartney. Someone should have at least put a bullet in Linda McCartney at some point in her musical career. Yoko Ono should be spared for the mere fact that she did a record with Ornette Coleman, Lennon, Charlie Haden, and Ringo Starr among others. I could kill anyone who plays the piano who is white that doesn�t have the last name Medeski. Who is that homosexual guy who plays piano and sings sensitive songs? Whatever his name is. Or that Ben Folds guy, who the other night I heard doing a live cover of that Elton John Tiny Dancer song. Please shoot me now. So I think I want to be famous by killing someone famous. I think if I killed someone like Ben Folds or that Wainwright guy nobody would give a shit, and nobody would miss them, as I assume nobody listens to that stuff anyway. I could kill all of the members of that band the Vines. I could be on the cover of fanzines all over the world if I killed that Bikini Kill girl, but that wouldn�t be that big of a deal. I want to fucking kill Mick Jagger. Yeah, Mick Jagger. The Stones are one of my favorite bands of all time, so I could get that �deranged fan kills his idol�. I could say I read something by Chuck Palahniuk, and found it so revoltingly pretentious that I had to kill someone famous. I could say I read the bible, and it told me I needed to kill Mick Jagger. I could kill some sort of political, social leader. Who is the leader of the homosexuals now? Someone from New York City presumably. I could kill New York City, I hate that fucking place anyway. I could get a bunch of people together, we could hijack some planes and do it right this time. I am going to fucking kill New York City! Think of all the celebrities, homosexual leaders, and communist leaders I could kill! While George Bush has the terrorists on the run, he won�t even be expecting us when we crash 666 airplanes into New York City until finally the place is reduced to a bigger pile of rotting shit than it is now. OMG LOL!
I feel like making love to a woman today