The weak end, I mean the weekend. It�s turned into a joke for me at this point. This weekend was no �exception to that rule� either. Last night I witnessed something immature and just boring. Tonight was another just okay night with some friends. One thing I can say though, people need to have some sort of alcohol in front of them to deal with social situations. It�s so funny how sheep-like people can really be, expose your weakness for all to see, everyone. Anyway, I don�t play the game anymore, so fuck, what do I care�Earlier in the night, and after I just left my friends a little while ago, I realized it again. I really, really just can�t be around groups of people in any form. They say after a little while alone, one will go nuts and need people to talk to, etc. I can agree with that, but being able to travel by yourself, there�s nothing like it. Taking a day by yourself to do things is a great feeling too. I on the other hand, enjoy this more often than not. It just feels better. I own my thoughts. The one thing I don�t need to always feed someone. I can come here I guess and share them, but I can also come here and lie, or be vague. There are too may instances when I just need to run away nowadays. This sort of scares me sometimes, but sometimes I feel I�ll be better off in the long run. It scares me to think I could easily just walk away and turn into a hermit in a split second. That wouldn�t be the worst thing I guess. It�s boring out there. I have all of this great music in here, I have the guitars, and all these great books I can read over and over. No sunlight. A lifestyle of solitude, yeah that sounds good, but surely, not my ideal way to go out right now. Perhaps once the winter comes even more, and I continue to be let down I will follow through with it. Show me the money. Yeah, the music. I can�t replace that. You can�t substitute Coltrane playing a soprano saxophone for any girl you meet. You can�t replace the gritty reality of Selby with a night at the local bar waiting to get your dick soaking wet. That�s all fucking phony crap. This is reality. Four men spraying more blood and tears out of their instruments in twenty seconds than Beck could ever wish to do in five minutes on the MTV Music Awards. Nobody is going to take this life away from me. Books and CD�s filled with real life. People getting down like motherfuckers, ya know? People can live in their mediocrity, I�m going to move along. I�m going to do things I want to do, by myself. I can�t let anyone get in the way, I can�t let other peoples feelings get in the way. I want to do everything I want to do and more. I want to move along without having to explain it to anyone. Leave it put away in a book somewhere in the back of my mind. People just make me feel like shit nowadays, so I can�t be held back. Fa fa fa fa fa fe fe fo

You should never put the blame on anyone else, it makes an ass out of you, and me, and annoys the duck.

before & after