Perhaps I�m trying to get in character for tonight�s costume party, where I am going to be a �heavy metal gas station attendant�, or maybe I just like Ronnie James Dio a whole lot, and this new album is some of the best Dio since The Last In Line. When Dio is bad, it can be pretty bad, anyway, no reason to be talking about Ronnie James Dio right now�

Flattery comes from all over, and I ignore it. I keep going down. I keep going this one direction. No matter how much flattery, how much attention, how many phone calls, I just can�t appreciate it. Either way, I recognize it I guess. I just don�t feel affected by it much. Anyone? I feel pretty good today, a whole world better than yesterday, where I was ready to drive off a pier, or into a tree. Work was hell, and the whole general life of mine was in front of me for some reason all day, so I felt like shit. Mere voices were just annoying me, not helping me out much. Voices and conversations that ended in silence. I�m carted to work on a cattle car, and I leave on a stretcher. I sit there all day, I have my things that keep my attention (i.e good looking women who make me shy), and I have music all day in the office, but when it gets down to it, right now, I hate work. It�s more than just �too much work, not enough money�, it�s more like �too much pressure�. The times I just want to come into work and not have to talk to anyone are the days when I�m called into meeting, the phone rings all day, my desk is covered with paperwork from months ago, my e-mail inbox is littered with messages and numbers and spread sheets and questions and answers, and I still sit there waiting for something simply amazing to happen there. The drive home is turning into a mere test of ones patience. Not sure if it�s other people, or just me, but people are just driving really bad lately, and I notice it more. Fuck, I should shower and go to this party so I can shake hands and smile, and get back to the box here early enough to do some reading, writing, and exercising (back on that finally!). I�m trying my best not to be moody tonight. Watch this�

before & after