So there�s this guy out in the backyard again when I come in tonight. Actually, I saw him a few times today. Let�s see, in the office this morning, he ran by the doorway when I turned around, he came in the room when the band was rehearsing tonight, I saw him walking on the side of the road darting in and out of the bushes in Beverly at one point, and then he was hiding behind the �Resident Parking Only� sign when I pulled in. he foolishly though I wouldn�t see him as I was backing in. I know he watched me get into the house as well. I always feel him staring at my back when I come in at night. He wants to assure me everything is going to be all right. He wants me to know he�s there for me. My own personal guardian angel if you will. What he�s guarding me from, I have no clue. What I�m hiding from, I know. I�m currently hiding from redheads and burglars. I see them all the time, and I need to hide from them. I don�t think he�s a burglar per se, but I do feel he has some sort of evil side to him. Like an evil killer, but not an actual killer. Some sort of sociopath I would get along with fine. A kinder, gentler sociopath. A family oriented sociopath. The every man sociopath. He does get an �A� for effort though, as he comes back to me again and again to tell me I look good. Everything is okay. He makes me smile, yet he scares me. He still has never introduced himself to me. To this day, he just runs away from me. I�m not hiding from him I swear to God in Heaven. I was going to look for Jesus Christ for the answers recently. For one day, and one day only. I had an exclusive engagement with Jesus Christ, the hardest working man in show business. Anyway, it gets harder and harder each day to explain myself, as I get too immersed in my own shit. I get blinded, and then vague. Ha ha ha, it does work for me; I just don�t want to keep anyone in the cold though. What do the say, �Keep all available means of communication clear and to the point, and a good working relationship will only grow stronger� I guess it�s true, but hell if I follow it. I don�t have enough consistency, because I despise it. I despise consistency in myself, and I despise it in others as well. I like when people progress, or even regress, but staying the same�feh. Nobody should do the same thing every day, nobody should be predictable, come on, we�re all adults here, show some color. Start decorating things up a little bit more. It angers me to no end seeing potential go to waste because of a night on the strip decorating things pink and orange. It bores me to no end to do the same thing. No plan. The first rule is, there are no rules. My band has adopted that credo now. There are no rules. I couldn�t be in another band at this point. We all seem to be on the same page, and things look like they will be getting better very soon as well. As long as we don�t get self conscious that there are no rules, and we play what we want to play night by night, everything will be great, and fresh and challenging every time we perform. Why not play a 45-minute set with just one song? Free form improvisation. Why not play a show and just perform Pink Floyd�s Meddle in its entirety? I feel ugly tonight and unclean. I had thoughts earlier that I won�t share in public. I feel like a man of many words, and no actions. I feel weak and prone to disease right now. The defenses are down now, watch me fall on the ground and then get up and leave. I swear it�s about time I hit the road. I swear I won�t ever yell at anyone again. I understand it�s hard to understand anything they say. I know that, I�m fine with it. I�m fine with the fact that they don�t listen anyway. He listens, she says this to me, and look, here I am yet again, ready to tell the truth. The whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Miles Davis never lets me down in these situations, he always remains my friend throughout. Don�t leave me Miles, you always told it like it was. Like in 1955 when you were at that mansion and that white woman was patronizing you and you said �Fuck you, I ain�t no fucking boy! My name is Miles Davis, and you�d better remember that if you ever want to talk to me� I am going to do that the next time someone patronizes me. The next time someone patronizes me, I�m going to turn into Miles Davis, circa 1955, the same year he released Working with the Miles Davis Quintet, The Musings of Miles, Blue Moods, Circle in the Round, and Round About Midnight. There is one last thing I need to get off my chest though, it�s cold and rainy here and I want someone to tell me it�s going to be all right.

before & after