Amongst yellow and brown leaves I realized today that it�s now here. This weather is here now. I never swam all summer. Now that I think about it I haven�t been in water in about 3 or 4 years now. Maybe next year then.

You deserve a slap across the face for being so fucking stupid. You deserve anything that comes to you I would say. There�s nothing good coming to you and your gang. A little bit of drama, and a little bit of deception and you�re on your way. Next stop? Where to now? Let me put it in drive first, we�ll discuss it on the way. Just hurry up, I really want you out of my car now. I want you to go on and do your thing. Everyone gets their way this time but me. Everyone wins in the end, yet I get to sit back here. This is why you deserve a fucking slap across the face. You really don�t have that much of a brain when I hear about you or talk to you. You say one thing and you�re listening to someone else for an answer. You must get up in the morning and hate yourself. You must hate yourself every day. You aren�t really doing any good staying around in my life. I am only going to end it for you a different way. This is why you get the slap on the face and I will go on. Fuck, you upset me a bit. You lie and fucking steal things right out of peoples hearts and eyes. I couldn�t have made it any easier than I did. The best acting award will go to you I guess. You did a much better job at acting like you were interested than I did. I will come right out and say it, I was serious. I�ll give you that. You can�t handle admitting things like that. The lawyer would have screamed at you in court about this. It�s wonderful to know that I can come home at night and not worry about how you�re going to piss me off this time. It�s wonderful that the snow will fall on someone else�s bangs this winter in front of me. It�s all still very wonderful. You�ve given me more than enough nights of helping me get to sleep. You�ve given me more ideas on how to prove theories. You�ve given me enough ammunition to put all sorts of holes in your red dress. Keep the flowers coming, I need the oxygen in this room.

There�s something to be said about people that immediately get inside of you. They get inside you for a few days and burn there for a few hours a day. They tend to not really know what they are doing, or what affects they are having on you. This is good, the way it should be. Some other things that are good are:

1) The tone of Miles Davis horn on Love For Sale

2) Walking through dead leaves in the cold

3) That sustained D chord I love playing

4) Parker Posey

I wonder every single day if it�s easier to just not pay attention ever.

before & after