It is as hot as the urine of a homeless person in here today. Who told you bout my pussy?

I am going to the fair tonight with Scanzilla, even though I said I wouldn�t. I�m back at Friendster too. Am I

a) a hypocrite

b) indecisive

c) confused

d) a confused hypocrite

e) White male, 33 into travel, going out to dinner, music, and long walks off of short piers.

Where I live, on Saturn, we don�t talk about what we ate for lunch, or dinner, or breakfast. We photograph it. Today though, I ate some lasagna, a rare treat for me, as I generally hate Italian food, even though my last name is spelled, and pronounced just like lasagna. All of a sudden, there was something peculiar in my mouth, I pulled it out, and ir resembled a maggot. I examined it for a brief period, and then threw the food out after being undecided as to what it actually was. To make up for this half-assed lunch, I made my way out to the canteen truck and bought some oatmeal cookies. I�m on a diet, so I figured I�d get something with the word �oatmeal� on it. You see, if you get something that sounds healthy, chances are, it is. There is no way sugar can be fattening, as it dissolves in your mouth. Does this football helmet make me look fat?

before & after