�you are a fucking cocksucker�

�the number of times I fucked Kerry in my car circa 1989�

�let�s take our clothes off and put this Bob Welch record on�

�And now, a black man will attempt to go home with Jesus�

�I will let you see the seahorse if you take me out for the chicken�

�Homosexuality�

�Fried bubble gum from a unicorn of hope�

�I would like to purchase this bag of rusty dimes from you�

�you fucking asshole, don�t touch the fucking window button!�

�Dear God, I fucked my mother last night�

�she must be blind, or just stupid�

�Don�t get your card mixed up with those tickets�

�I�m one part Jennifer Annsiton one part Billy Ocean, and one part Adolf Hitler, I am the motherfucker you motherfucking motherfucker�

�He sat down and began to write his life story, in meals�

�We will not go down that road again-period!�

�We defended the statue, now you have to defend my wife�s chicken dishes�

�Telly Savalas on coke�

�The amount of money I have on this particular horse will make all the difference�

�we eat pussy, we are the San Jose Sharks Accounting Department�

�Randy Rhoads is dead, thank fucking God�

�I have providence, I can kill you all�

�Dear Phil Collins, I just wanted to tell you this��

�This is the team of people that will be taking you to Venus�

�Ladies and gentlemen, Richard Bach, on qualludes�

�the number of lies I have told from 1996-present�

�Paul Simon�s shaved pussy�

�Father, I want you to stop taking heroin now, I�m scared�

�Holy shit, it�s hotter than Barbarella out here!�

�Name your favorite way to prepare spinach, without actually using spinach�

�The day the Olsen Twins discover marijuana�

�My name is Jesus Christ, this is my dog Poopieface�

�Hello everyone, it�s good to see everyone is wearing white shoes�

�Hillary Clinton�s copy of Megatrends�

�cockckckcocockckcockcoco suckers!!!�

"Mr. President, I've just shit my pants" ---air conditioning does this to you--

before & after